How To Keep Calm When You’re Angry At Work

How many of you have experienced anger at least once when at work? Have you experienced it at least once a day, once a week, or do you experience it every day? Today I want to share with you 3 action steps on how to keep calm when you’re angry at work.

First, I want to mention that anger is no different from happiness. It is an emotion, a feeling, something I believe we all experience throughout life. Having a “temper” or being “angry” is simply put… temporary. My mood can change from happy to sad, joy to anger within a flash depending on what are my thoughts, energy, or what I am choosing to focus on. But, it also comes and goes as I place my attention on working myself to staying positive.
This is where the work begins. Every hour, minute, and second. I believe in staying positive. These thoughts, this “work” is the drive that keeps me balanced and calm during stressful moments, especially at work. At work, I am dealing with all types of patients, family members, and co-workers. The common theme, they are all people. So for me to keep calm when faced with anger, I have to think of “what is making me angry?” More so than, “who is making me angry?” Why? Because, no one has control of my feelings, wishes, and desires. So, to place blame on others is simply saying “it’s easier to point the problem at someone (him/her over there! That witch!) than to deal with my emotions and attitude.

At work, I can be tested; but most of the time people (co-workers, patients, and family members) are not able to see my reactions, outbursts, or tantrums. I am not saying this to gloat or to be praised, simply stating that I am going through all of those emotions just like others, it just may not show outlandish or out of control. But, those that watch me closely, can sense that I am moved by something: It is shown in my work performance (as I am pacing up and down the hallways). I am less talkative (co-workers may be talking to me about something I may not be interested in at that moment, as my face is glued to the computer screen, charting away ( really what I am saying is, “not right now please, later!”)). I have a bunch of papers in my hand, carrying them from place to place and looking for them at the end of the day because I have misplaced them for the umpteen time (inside, I am livid, screaming at the top of my lungs, Ahhhhhhhhh!! Where are my papers?!).
So what am I saying? Stress! I believe we all have it, experience it and it shows up from little stress to a lot and I (taking responsibility is key!) have to manage it the best way possible but also be respectful of where I am and who is around me (especially if your regarded to being a leader or looked upon for direction in stressful situations). Stress can be contagious, like an anxious fever. For example, if I am stressed out, my co-workers can also sense that height of awareness, warmth, blood-rushing feeling and begin to feel an oncoming wave of bizarre events happening in our nursing department (not because of me personally, but I am adding stress to the environment; it always happens right after lunch, around 2 pm for some reason). That adds a not-so-friendly setting, leading to hostility amongst workers, bad temperament with patients, and more risk for errors in job performance.

Here are 3 ways you can manage your temper/anger when facing an issue at work:

1. Ask Yourself What Pushed Your “Button?” Again, a lot of the times when I am upset or angry, it is not the person I am angry at, it is the way he/she approached me or perceived me (Read more about this How to Balance Your Approach and Their Perception for more info). Which turns out 99% of the time to be miscommunication. When I can also see what is stressing the other person (showing empathy), I can begin to understand how they are also being pushed/stressed about something.
2. Take A Walk/Change Your Environment-I believe outburst of anger does not just come out spontaneously. It is a result of pent-up frustration, mounting up at the moment, or has been for days even months. I like to prevent this from happening in the middle of my department if I take a walk. I walk to a different unit/department, see fresh new faces, go outside and watch the birds and squirrels living up the good life and take my 10-minute break.
3. Be A Part Of/Watch A Fun Activity-When temper rises, a quick way to slow down the boiling tea kettle in your body is to put some ice in it and make it Iced Tea! be a part of or watch a fun activity at work. At my job, we always are having something going on for the patients/residents and the activity staff are always in need of volunteers. Helping or participating in an activity that creates a fun atmosphere really keeps the stress level down for me; watching others have fun is also contagious to catch the happy fever (opposite from the anxious fever previously mentioned).
   In conclusion, I experience anger all the time when at work. I also experience happiness when at work. I am most happy when I can manage my stress and keep it at a low to be able to do my job effectively and passionately. I believe if you follow some of these action steps (Ask yourself what pushed your button? Take a walk/change your environment, Be a part of/watch a fun activity) you can start to see the changes you want, by being calmer rather than angry when at work.

How Will You Use Some of These Action Steps At Work? Next Time Your Temper is Rising, How Will You Change Your Mood To Minimize Stress?

Blue Jacket

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